Breaking the ice is hard anytime but when you’re only dating, it can feel impossible. Most of the time you have so little to go on—just a few photos, or maybe a short description about someone—so it can be hard to come up with something worthwhile to say. Other times, you’re busy trying to introduce yourself to a lot of people at once, so it’s hard to put together a perfectly crafted message for every single person.
To help inspire your own messages and to give you a place to start, we put together a few online dating first message examples you can pick and choose from. Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out; there are over 100 online dating first message examples to help you get the conversation started. Ways to Just Say Hi: Hi, how was your weekend? Hey, how’s your week going so far? Hi.
What have you been up to lately? Hey, how are things with you today? Hi, any fun plans for the weekend? Hi, I hope your week is going well. Hi, how are you? 🙂 Hi there. How’s life treating you today? Hey, what are you up to today? Just stopping by to say hello. Hello! I just had to say hi to you. Hi! What’s up? How are you? How’s your day going so far? I hope you’re having a nice day 🙂 Hi there, how are you? Just wanted to say hi! Hey there! 🙂 Hi, I hope you’re having a great day.
Saw your profile and just had to say hi. Hey, what are you up to right now? Flirty/Funny Hellos: I can’t think of anything better than getting a reply from you. I want this message to be the reason you smile at your screen. Do you ever feel like something really great is about to happen? I kind of feel that way now. If you respond to one message today, let it be mine. I kind of, sort of, well, pretty much think you seem amazing.
Want to chat sometime? If you wanted to talk, it’d definitely make my day… or maybe year. Hello. Also, you are amazing. Could you please reply to this message and make me feel like the luckiest person in the world? You have no idea how happy it would make me to talk to you. You had me at It’s a Match. I tend to wear my heart on my profile. 🙂 Hello, bonjour, aloha, salut! (I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tried a bunch.
) Rawr means hello in dinosaur. RAWR! That awkward moment when you try to message a guy/girl and all you can think of is hello. Just saying hi. Because I’m annoying like that. I’m willing to risk the cooties if you are. I like how your nose is in the middle of your face. That’s really cute. I like hugs. I will always tell you when you have something in your teeth. That’s just the kind of person I am.
I’d love to talk to you. For reals. No fakesies. I think I quite fancy you. You seem super duper. Double thumbs up to you. Anyone can be cool but awesomeness like yours takes practice. You (yes, you) are the person I want to talk to. I don’t flirt, but I will totally seduce you with my awkwardness. I’m looking for someone I can be a complete nerd with. You interested? I like it when a guy/girl talks nerdy to me.
I’m the good kind of weird. How about you? You deserve a whole sheet of gold stars. The truth? I like you a lot. And I don’t even know you yet. I just have an idea. I passed by your photo too many times not to stop a say hi. My atoms are attracted to your atoms. It’s chemistry. Hello amazingness. You make me smile. That is all. You had me at online now. I want to be the reason you look into your phone and smile.
I was more excited to see your profile photo than pizza. And I really like pizza. I bet my dog would like you. I bet my cat would like you. Questions to Break the Ice: What’s something you could talk about for hours? What type of stuff do you like to do on the weekend? What kinds of things do you like to do for fun? What’s a typical day in your life like? If you could live anywhere, where would it be? What do you like to do when you go out? What type of stuff do you do in your spare time? If you could be a character in any movie, who would you be? What actor/actress would play you in the movie of your life? What’s your favorite book? What’s one thing I should know about you that’s not on your profile? What’s your favorite sports team? How did you pick your display name? What’s one saying you try to live by? Do you have any tattoos? If you got one what would you get? Are you close to your family? If you could choose a superpower what would it be? What’s the nerdiest thing you’re willing to admit? What are you most likely to stay up all night talking about? I love hearing other people’s stories.
Do you have a good one to tell? What’s your idea of the perfect day? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? What’s one city you want to travel to? What’s your favorite band? What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite song? What’s one great book you’ve recently read? Are you an adventurous person? What’s your favorite cocktail? What’s your favorite restaurant? Would you describe yourself as a romantic person? Yes or no: Do you like to dance? Yes or no: Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes or no: Are you romantic? Do you have any pets? Do you have any nicknames? Where did you grow up? Are you an outgoing person or are you on the shy side? Do you like working out? What’s your favorite TV show? What are your favorite things to do in your spare time? Do you have any hobbies you’re passionate about? Are you an outdoorsy person? Do you play any sports? What’s one thing you’d bring with you to a deserted tropical island? What’s the fondest memory you have? What’s your favorite place in the whole world? Tell me one random fact about yourself.
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Writing a message, whether you’re kicking off the conversation or continuing an exchange, is easily the most intimidating part of online dating. But here’s a secret: It gets infinitely easier once you write that first message. There is no perfect opener, but there are ways to make it easier for someone to send you a response. We talked to a few experts and came up with six tactics and dating message examples to help you kick things off right.
1. Tailor your message to your recipient.“People almost always see themselves as unique,” researchers Khalid Khan and Sameer Chaudhry (Barts and the London School of Medicine) note in their 2015 online dating study published in Evidence-Based Medicine. By that reasoning, the most effective messages are those that highlight details in the other person’s profile: a shared interest in favorite movies or books, or somewhere you both want to travel; asking the person to expound on an anecdote he or she mentions; creating an inside joke between the two of you based on a point in their profile.
Dating Message Examples:– Happy we can agree that Wes Anderson always gets it right, but Life Aquatic is the clear winner, right?– That picture you have at the top of a summit is amazing. What trail was that? I’m always interested in finding new hikes. 2. Keep things upbeat and funny. Similar to the above points, you want to keep the conversation breezy and enjoyable. You don’t have to banter like a movie character, but you want to write something that makes the person on the other end smile.
Dating Message Examples:– I don’t know who’d be more excited about us going on a date, me or my mom.– You had me at burrito.– Please tell me that’s a photo of your dressed as Bart Simpson for Halloween. 3. Don’t make it too superficial.Women are not fans of messages telling them how beautiful or sexy they are; as Khan and Chaudhry observe, “We routinely reject unrealistically positive views of ourselves, because this raises suspicion about about the motives of the complimenter.
” No doubt men are similarly wary. You’re messaging someone because you’re at least somewhat physically attracted to them; no more needs to be said on the subject. Dating Message Examples:– That Netflix queue of yours is quite impressive, but we’ll need to discuss why you’ve listed ‘The Rock’ as your favorite actor over drinks.– You said you read a lot so what are you into now? I love a good book recommendation.
– You have a ton of travel photos. Where’s your next adventure going to be? 4. But flirting is more than fine.Just because you’re not going over-the-top on compliments doesn’t mean you can’t still make the other person’s heart skip a beat. Zoosk created a data-backed infographic on writing good messages that suggests you use flirty words like “crush” and “trouble”—there’s nothing wrong with showing that this person has an effect on you.
Dating Message Examples:– I’m starting to have a little crush on you. Very small. Tiny crush. Almost negligible.– I might have just done a happy dance after seeing your message pop up. 5. Suggest date ideas.As witty as your online rapport can be, no one signs up on a dating site just for a pen pal. The goal is to translate your chemistry from messages into a real-life meeting; what better way than to start thinking about the first date? Now, you don’t want to do this on the very first message, as that can be as impersonal as copy-and-pasting a generic message; you need a little bit of a back-and-forth to know what would be ideal for you two.
Maybe there’s a movie you’d both be interested in, or an outdoor event in the local park? Regardless, this is the perfect way to transition the conversation from messages to a shared event. Dating Message Examples:– You say Tony’s pizza, I vote Sal’s. Obviously, we should settle this at once. I’ve got Thursday open.– Do you like beer, wine, or cocktails? Whatever your choice, the drink is on me.
– Have a favorite after-work spot you enjoy? We should meet up. 6. Mirror the other person.This is a difficult one to remember: Your messages should match the other person’s in terms of length and tone. You wouldn’t want to dominate a conversation in real life, right? Keep room for a back-and-forth; ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer to extend the conversation. Dating Message Examples:– What inspired you to visit Paris?– What’s the best part of your job? Remember, there will always be inexplicable reasons why someone might not write you back, but with millions of profiles at your fingertips there’s no sense worrying about a one person’s lack of response.
Dating, whether it be online or traditional, is a numbers game. The more people you message, the higher the likelihood you find what, or who, you’re looking for.