Breaking the ice is hard anytime but when you’re only dating, it can feel impossible. Most of the time you have so little to go on—just a few photos, or maybe a short description about someone—so it can be hard to come up with something worthwhile to say. Other times, you’re busy trying to introduce yourself to a lot of people at once, so it’s hard to put together a perfectly crafted message for every single person.
To help inspire your own messages and to give you a place to start, we put together a few online dating first message examples you can pick and choose from. Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out; there are over 100 online dating first message examples to help you get the conversation started. Ways to Just Say Hi: Hi, how was your weekend? Hey, how’s your week going so far? Hi.
What have you been up to lately? Hey, how are things with you today? Hi, any fun plans for the weekend? Hi, I hope your week is going well. Hi, how are you? 🙂 Hi there. How’s life treating you today? Hey, what are you up to today? Just stopping by to say hello. Hello! I just had to say hi to you. Hi! What’s up? How are you? How’s your day going so far? I hope you’re having a nice day 🙂 Hi there, how are you? Just wanted to say hi! Hey there! 🙂 Hi, I hope you’re having a great day.
Saw your profile and just had to say hi. Hey, what are you up to right now? Flirty/Funny Hellos: I can’t think of anything better than getting a reply from you. I want this message to be the reason you smile at your screen. Do you ever feel like something really great is about to happen? I kind of feel that way now. If you respond to one message today, let it be mine. I kind of, sort of, well, pretty much think you seem amazing.
Want to chat sometime? If you wanted to talk, it’d definitely make my day… or maybe year. Hello. Also, you are amazing. Could you please reply to this message and make me feel like the luckiest person in the world? You have no idea how happy it would make me to talk to you. You had me at It’s a Match. I tend to wear my heart on my profile. 🙂 Hello, bonjour, aloha, salut! (I wasn’t sure how to say hi, so I tried a bunch.
) Rawr means hello in dinosaur. RAWR! That awkward moment when you try to message a guy/girl and all you can think of is hello. Just saying hi. Because I’m annoying like that. I’m willing to risk the cooties if you are. I like how your nose is in the middle of your face. That’s really cute. I like hugs. I will always tell you when you have something in your teeth. That’s just the kind of person I am.
I’d love to talk to you. For reals. No fakesies. I think I quite fancy you. You seem super duper. Double thumbs up to you. Anyone can be cool but awesomeness like yours takes practice. You (yes, you) are the person I want to talk to. I don’t flirt, but I will totally seduce you with my awkwardness. I’m looking for someone I can be a complete nerd with. You interested? I like it when a guy/girl talks nerdy to me.
I’m the good kind of weird. How about you? You deserve a whole sheet of gold stars. The truth? I like you a lot. And I don’t even know you yet. I just have an idea. I passed by your photo too many times not to stop a say hi. My atoms are attracted to your atoms. It’s chemistry. Hello amazingness. You make me smile. That is all. You had me at online now. I want to be the reason you look into your phone and smile.
I was more excited to see your profile photo than pizza. And I really like pizza. I bet my dog would like you. I bet my cat would like you. Questions to Break the Ice: What’s something you could talk about for hours? What type of stuff do you like to do on the weekend? What kinds of things do you like to do for fun? What’s a typical day in your life like? If you could live anywhere, where would it be? What do you like to do when you go out? What type of stuff do you do in your spare time? If you could be a character in any movie, who would you be? What actor/actress would play you in the movie of your life? What’s your favorite book? What’s one thing I should know about you that’s not on your profile? What’s your favorite sports team? How did you pick your display name? What’s one saying you try to live by? Do you have any tattoos? If you got one what would you get? Are you close to your family? If you could choose a superpower what would it be? What’s the nerdiest thing you’re willing to admit? What are you most likely to stay up all night talking about? I love hearing other people’s stories.
Do you have a good one to tell? What’s your idea of the perfect day? When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? What’s one city you want to travel to? What’s your favorite band? What’s your favorite movie? What’s your favorite song? What’s one great book you’ve recently read? Are you an adventurous person? What’s your favorite cocktail? What’s your favorite restaurant? Would you describe yourself as a romantic person? Yes or no: Do you like to dance? Yes or no: Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes or no: Are you romantic? Do you have any pets? Do you have any nicknames? Where did you grow up? Are you an outgoing person or are you on the shy side? Do you like working out? What’s your favorite TV show? What are your favorite things to do in your spare time? Do you have any hobbies you’re passionate about? Are you an outdoorsy person? Do you play any sports? What’s one thing you’d bring with you to a deserted tropical island? What’s the fondest memory you have? What’s your favorite place in the whole world? Tell me one random fact about yourself.
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Not so long ago, nobody met a partner online. Then, in the 1990s, came the first dating websites. Recommended for You Match.com went live in 1995. A new wave of dating websites, such as OKCupid, emerged in the early 2000s. And the 2012 arrival of Tinder changed dating even further. Today, more than one-third of marriages start online. Clearly, these sites have had a huge impact on dating behavior.
But now the first evidence is emerging that their effect is much more profound. The way people meet their partners has changed dramatically in recent years For more than 50 years, researchers have studied the nature of the networks that link people to each other. These social networks turn out to have a peculiar property. One obvious type of network links each node with its nearest neighbors, in a pattern like a chess board or chicken wire.
Another obvious kind of network links nodes at random. But real social networks are not like either of these. Instead, people are strongly connected to a relatively small group of neighbors and loosely connected to much more distant people. These loose connections turn out to be extremely important. “Those weak ties serve as bridges between our group of close friends and other clustered groups, allowing us to connect to the global community,” say Josue Ortega at the University of Essex in the U.
K. and Philipp Hergovich at the University of Vienna in Austria. Loose ties have traditionally played a key role in meeting partners. While most people were unlikely to date one of their best friends, they were highly likely to date people who were linked with their group of friends; a friend of a friend, for example. In the language of network theory, dating partners were embedded in each other’s networks.
Indeed, this has long been reflected in surveys of the way people meet their partners: through mutual friends, in bars, at work, in educational institutions, at church, through their families, and so on. Online dating has changed that. Today, online dating is the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet. For homosexual couples, it is far and away the most popular. That has significant implications.
“People who meet online tend to be complete strangers,” say Ortega and Hergovich. And when people meet in this way, it sets up social links that were previously nonexistent. The question that Ortega and Hergovich investigate is how this changes the racial diversity of society. “Understanding the evolution of interracial marriage is an important problem, for intermarriage is widely considered a measure of social distance in our societies,” they say.
The researchers start by simulating what happens when extra links are introduced into a social network. Their network consists of men and women from different races who are randomly distributed. In this model, everyone wants to marry a person of the opposite sex but can only marry someone with whom a connection exists. This leads to a society with a relatively low level of interracial marriage. But if the researchers add random links between people from different ethnic groups, the level of interracial marriage changes dramatically.
“Our model predicts nearly complete racial integration upon the emergence of online dating, even if the number of partners that individuals meet from newly formed ties is small,” say Ortega and Hergovich. And there is another surprising effect. The team measure the strength of marriages by measuring the average distance between partners before and after the introduction of online dating. “Our model also predicts that marriages created in a society with online dating tend to be stronger,” they say.
Next, the researchers compare the results of their models to the observed rates of interracial marriage in the U.S. This has been on the increase for some time, but the rates are still low, not least because interracial marriage was banned in some parts of the country until 1967. But the rate of increase changed at about the time that online dating become popular. “It is intriguing that shortly after the introduction of the first dating websites in 1995, like Match.
com, the percentage of new marriages created by interracial couples increased rapidly,” say the researchers. The increase became steeper in the 2000s, when online dating became even more popular. Then, in 2014, the proportion of interracial marriages jumped again. “It is interesting that this increase occurs shortly after the creation of Tinder, considered the most popular online dating app,” they say.
Tinder has some 50 million users and produces more than 12 million matches a day. Of course, this data doesn’t prove that online dating caused the rise in interracial marriages. But it is consistent with the hypothesis that it does. Meanwhile, research into the strength of marriage has found some evidence that married couples who meet online have lower rates of marital breakup than those who meet traditionally.
That has the potential to significantly benefit society. And it’s exactly what Ortega and Hergovich’s model predicts. Of course, there are other factors that could contribute to the increase in interracial marriage. One is that the trend is the result of a reduction in the percentage of Americans who are white. If marriages were random, this should increase the number of interracial marriages, but not by the observed amount.
“The change in the population composition in the U.S. cannot explain the huge increase in intermarriage that we observe,” say Ortega and Hergovich. That leaves online dating as the main driver of this change. And if that’s the case, the model implies that this change is ongoing. That’s a profound revelation. These changes are set to continue, and to benefit society as result. Ref: arxiv.
org/abs/1709.10478 : The Strength of Absent Ties: Social Integration via Online Dating